One of the difficult and painful tasks caregiver’s of those with dementia and Alzheimer’s face is the decision to place a loved one in long term care. Guilt, fear and sadness are just a few of the resulting emotions that can accompany this reality. I recently discovered this song by John Law who expressed the emotions he was experiencing when he had to place his mother in nursing home. Entitled Still a Child, John sings of his guilt and feeling as though he were abandoning his mother while at the same time, feeling that he, himself, is still a child. As you listen to this song, what resonates with you? If you were composing such a song, what emotions would you express?
STILL A CHILD
If you knew what I was going through
You’d approve of what I had to do.
Putting you away for the rest of your days,
Play on my heart and tears me apart
I walk away with you on my mind,
It’s killing me to leave you behind.
You’re begging me to take you home,
But I feel so guilty because I leave alone
Cause I’m still a child when I look in your eyes
And it makes me cry and it makes me cry
Now every hello feels like I’m saying goodbye
Goodbye good bye goodbye
If I could have you back for one more day
Would you reassure me what I’m doing is okay
Would you comfort me and ease my mind,
Cause only you can help me find my way
Song written by John and Michele Law and Bakhus Saba © 2011 SOCAN